Long walks with my gigantic dog (as my co-workers have taken to calling Dancer) give me A LOT of time to think. This last week the big question I pondered (as I miserably walked my poor horse and hoped he didn’t spook at my coughing from whatever disease I caught) was…
Why the hell are you doing this?
I mean literally this sport is two steps forward three steps back…
And on top of that I have some pretty big fear issues from a fall I took a few years ago.
So basically if you want to look at it I’m crazy…
I’m driving myself 35+ min to the barn to take my large dog for a walk in the hopes he heals well and that I can get over myself someday and we can jump higher than intro and maybe win a 15 cent ribbon at a show that will cost us a $1000 to attend. Not to mention what it costs me to keep said dog at the barn while I can only walk him (even when he’s ridable) and the extras….
And I’ll admit it….to an outsider it seems certifiable… Why pay so much to do something that scares the pants off you and cost a shit ton of money?
Well I must be nuts then because I’ve dreamed of this my whole life and I couldn’t imagine it any other way. Yes rehab sucks and yes we might be jumping tiny logs forever because I’m a chicken. But you know what they are my tiny logs and I love them and I’m in no hurry to move up. I don’t understand that mentality. I work hard but we get there when we get there (and take 6 month vacations). Kind of like a turtle running through peanut butter.
But to answer my own question….
Why the hell am I doing this?
Because I love him!